The Gentle Souls Revolution

Classical violinist, Matthew Castle, describes escaping a cloistered echo chamber of blind obedience, misogyny, high control, “us versus them,” and feeling like, “I never fit in.” This cult checked ALL the boxes with a dash of "christian" nationalism. As a teen, he recognized his attraction to men, “the worst sin” according to the cult leaders. Over time, he saw, “I had to either completely repress myself, or I was going to have to leave.” As you know, readers, this isn't r

Full disclosure, I volunteer on LCF's podcast committee & I'm endorsing it here because it spotlights only survivor voices: former members tell their stories - interviewers are edited out. In concert with the Living Cult Free mission, each episode demonstrates that reclamation, though painful, is rewarding and dare I say, sometimes even joyful! And possible! You can reclaim yourself and your life, or even claim it for the first time. In Truth, Trauma & Taking a Cult to Court

Dear Gentle Souls, Leaving a secret mom & pop cult in 2011 made me see each sunset as one closer to my last sunset. I’m not being morbid. I’m not sick, or depressed. I face impermanence, because I lost five lost years. The silver lining of a five-year grift (like a secret cult) is knowing the value of time and protecting it fiercely. I have more time behind, than ahead. None to waste. I discuss cults, coercive control, and narcissism all day with clients. No complaints — I lo

“You don’t join a cult… it’s a bait and switch maneuver,” Hoyt Richards This docu-series has all the bells and whistles: The recruitment: bad luck in a vulnerable moment (credit to Daniel Shaw for this succinct formula). Sixteen-year old John Hoyt Richards meets Nantucket socialite, Frederick von Mierers. The bait: the “enlightened being” dangling THE exclusive secret sauce. von Mierers peddled astrology Hoyt attending NYC's premier of Bring Me the Beauties. readings and “hea

Dear Gentle Souls - As a therapist, I can say that therapists become therapists for reasons that DON’T include I’ve got it all figured out. Personally, I was driven by the inner mantra, "I feel like I don’t belong here.” It plagued me for years. Long before I ever heard the word gaslighting, I was acutely aware of societal contradictions. I heard the message, ”be kind", but saw cruelty rewarded. When I questioned such contradictions, “be kind” morphed into “you’re too sensi

For almost two months, my life has been Facebook & Instagram free. NOT missing it. I am calmer, have more time and mental clarity, and I’m playing more music , which makes me happy. Still, social media, trolls my brain. When I open a web browser, I start to check Facebook . I must remind myself that I can’t, even though I don’t really want to—something pulls on me. Such is the power of high-tech social engineering. Photo by Magenta on Unsplash This Stanford University Medi

Learn to self-protect against abusers, manipulators, and controllers.

Like so many others, I’m doing the best that I can to keep faith that the current violence and madness will stop.

Honoring Robert J. Lifton, pioneering scholar of cultic studies and author of Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism. His insights into brainwashing and coercion transformed my understanding of cult dynamics and helped me heal from my own experience.

So, I pulled the plug early. I deleted my personal Facebook account before my self-imposed September 30th deadline. While I still feel the pull to check Facebook every time I open a browser (which is an interesting study in how addictive these sites are) I don’t miss it. I am calmer. My mind is clearer.

Steering towards calm, clarity, and empowerment is the reclamation/recovery.

Protecting time, space, and energy is recovery. Take it back. Protect it.

Have you heard of rage bait, rage farming, and rage seeding?

The 3 word boundary I learned that stops people dead in their tracks.

Fairy recently, I decided that I had to balance my life. For so many reasons, all cults, all the time is NOT good for my mental health....

Many former cult members hesitate before sharing their experiences. I get it—there are good reasons! That said, I’m writing to encourage you if you are feeling the need to share and are constrained for whatever reason.

Value your time and safeguard your energy.

Victim blame seems embedded into human psychology and society. So, relational trauma survivors struggle with questions like, “how did I...

Sometimes I wonder why I keep writing songs. But the songs show up.

Dear Gentle Souls, It’s interesting that—like Hitler—Elon Musk is afraid of empathy. Musk recently called empathy “the fundamental...