Mastering Holiday Survival: The 'Less is More' Strategy for Gentle Souls

Esther Ruth Friedman
Dec 6, 2024
2 min read

Updated: Nov 13, 2025

This image showcases a cozy holiday setting. There are decorative pine branches, pinecones, bright red apples, and a plate of festive star-topped pastries dusted with powdered sugar. A cup of vibrantly colored red latte with beautiful latte art adds warmth to the scene, set against a rustic wooden backdrop. — Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Dear Gentle Souls, It is the time of year to re-address holiday survival strategies. Primarily, the Less is More tactic. Employ this strategy when you need to shut down an antagonistic provocateur. I share the following story with my clients to demonstrate how less response can lead to more freedom from drama for you.

The Conference Story

Once upon a time, 2018, I was listening to a clinician present at conference. He finished his talk, then attendees lined up at a mic and asked questions. He responded. They sat down. Standard fare, until one attendee stepped up to the mic to lodge a complaint:

"I think that [THIS ORGANIZATION] should [FILL BLANK with COMPLAINT]."

I thought, "Hmmm. She could hijack this session. How's he going to handles this?"

Without sarcasm, or judgment, he replied: "I'm sorry that you feel that way. I don't agree with you."

Then he stopped. She waited. He waited. She sat down. He took the next question.

Yep: "I don't agree with you." Hard stop. It's that simple.

Why Less is More Works

Less is More protects your precious time, energy, and focus from those who drain you to replenish themselves. These quips end an unwanted interaction by shutting down the debate, rather than engaging in it. Keep them in your proverbial back pocket:

"I'm done talking about this."
"You're wrong."
"Whatever you need to tell yourself." (My personal favorite)
"Okay." (This is very effective. There's no response.)
"Not your business."
"Not interested."

Why Use These Strategies?

Right fighters have an agenda, most of the time it's to win. This person doesn’t care about you and would talk past Winston Churchill, if given the chance. At best, they waste your precious time.

Baiting is not a conversation, nor even a debate. It's a domination game. Most Gentle Souls don't look to dominate and aren't interested in the verbal sparring.
Their intent is to flood you with absurdity, confuse you, and ultimately shut you down.

At times, no response can be empowering-silence can be its own message. Other times, silencing your voice feels like self-betrayal. It’s critical to have your own back.