Dear Gentle Souls,
Recently I had a great time talking to Gretchen Bostrom on her fantastic brand-new pod, Notable New England! She asked me about holiday survival strategies. Ever since, I've been thinking about a strategy that I call Less is More. I've experienced that this tactic shuts down the antagonistic provocateur.
The Conference Story
I often share a vignette that I call The Conference Story to demonstrate Less is More. Once at a conference, I was listening to a clinician present. He finished, then he took questions. Attendees asked their questions at a mic. He responded. They sat down. One attendee lodged a complaint, instead of asking a question:
"I think that [THIS ORGANIZATION] should [blah, blah, blah]."
I thought, "She could hijack this session. How's he going to respond?"
Without an ounce of sarcasm or judgment, he said:
"I'm sorry that you feel that way. I don't agree with you."
Then he took the next question. Yep: "I don't agree with you." Hard stop. It's that simple.
Why Less is More Works
Less is More protects your precious time, energy, and focus. Here are some other quips you can keep in your proverbial back pocket:
"I'm done talking about this."
"You're wrong."
"Whatever you want to tell yourself." (My personal favorite)
"Okay." (This is very effective. There's no response.)
"Whatever you need to believe." (I like this one, too.)
"Not your business."
"I'm not interested in your opinion."
"I don't feel like discussing this."
Why Use These Strategies?
If you realize you're dealing with someone who doesn’t care about you and has an agenda, you can make your point succinctly and shut down the verbal assault.
Baiting is not a conversation or even a debate. They won’t listen because they don’t care.
Their intent is to flood you with absurdity, confuse you, and ultimately shut you down.
Arguing wastes your time. Sometimes, no response can empower you. Other times, silencing your voice feels like self-betrayal. It’s critical to have your own back.
Finding the Balance
These days, it’s especially important to:
Believe in yourself.
Stand up for your values.
Embody your beliefs.
Fortunately, there are options between the rhetorical poles of silence and arguing.
Share Your Thoughts!
If you’ve got other effective quick and ready phrases, please share! I’m sure everyone will appreciate them.
Happy, Merry! :-)
Inhale, exhale. Repeat. ~Esther
Esther Friedman Author of The Gentle Souls Revolution Website: gentlesoulsrevolution.com
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