Follow Up: The Social NOT-Media Campaign

Esther Ruth Friedman
1 hour ago
2 min read

For almost two months, my life has been Facebook & Instagram free. NOT missing it. I am calmer, have more time and mental clarity, and I’m playing more music, which makes me happy.

Still, social media, trolls my brain. When I open a web browser, I start to check Facebook. I must remind myself that I can’t, even though I don’t really want to—something pulls on me. Such is the power of high-tech social engineering.

No phone zone sign on a green background — Photo by Magenta on Unsplash

This Stanford University Medicine interview, Addictive potential of social media, with Dopamine Nation author, Dr. Anna Lembke, explains how the ringing alerts, flashing lights, and bright colors deliver never-ending, fleeting, high-inducing content. Our brains flood us with dopamine. When we close browsers, the high disappears. Like all addicts, we chase the high, get the high, feel empty when left with ourselves, and the chase begins again.

Dr. Lembke said, “We're wired to connect. It's kept us alive for millions of years in a world of scarcity and ever-present danger … Upon signing off, the brain is plunged into a dopamine-deficit state as it attempts to adapt to the unnaturally high levels of dopamine social media just released.” She recommends a timeout. Even one day helps. A month of social-media free living resets your reward system. When I replace it with real-time connectedness, I forget about the online world. My go-to is my mandolin. But it could be anything: cooking; a book club; hiking; a sports team; one craft beer; coffee with a friend; a museum exhibit. The ideal replacement would combine concrete in the moment, visceral and social experiences. Real time with real people.

Obviously, my therapy practice and music have social media accounts. You probably found this post through social media. I’m thrilled to hand that wheel to my social media manager, Gretchen. Right now, I have zero access to those sites. Funny thing about that—recently, we decided that I should (at least) be able to see them or respond to comments. Gretchen tried to open an account, purely for that purpose. Facebook said, "nope, you’ve violated community standards." I tried the same. Facebook said, "nope you’ve violated community standards." Somehow, two brand new accounts, with zero content, managed to “violate community standards.” The Facebook police have confirmed and reaffirmed my decision to bow out. Onwards and upwards! Thank you, Facebook police, for providing another reason to unplug.

In the spirit of 'Less is More', my professional pages will be quieter over the holidays, too.

This season, I’ll be making more time for the real people in my life. I hope that you do the same!