Cult Media Content Endorsement Series: Intro
- Esther Ruth Friedman
- Jun 29
- 2 min read
Updated: 1 day ago
Dear Gentle Souls,
Leaving a secret mom & pop cult in 2011 made me see each sunset as one closer to my last sunset. I’m not being morbid. I’m not sick, or depressed. I face impermanence, because I lost five lost years. The silver lining of a five-year grift (like a secret cult) is knowing the value of time and protecting it fiercely. I have more time behind, than ahead. None to waste.
I discuss cults, coercive control, and narcissism all day with clients. No complaints — I love this work. Outside work, though, I need to live. So, I choose my cult content carefully.
In contrast, when leaving “school” in 2011, I devoured it all: books, documentaries, podcasts, etc. I needed to -- the knowledge and affirmation were critical to reclamation. I wasn’t crazy. In fact, I learned (among other things) that I kept very good company!
Welcome to Recovery, Phase 1, Needing to Get It: all cults, all the time. I didn’t call “school” a cult until I learned that its “unique” operation is the same grift that operates in all cults. It's all coercive control.
On to Recovery Phase 2, Operation Public Service Warning: all cults all the time, next level. I posted my blog, Cult Confessions; presented live; preached on podcasts; wrote my memoir/recovery book, The Gentle Souls Revolution & built my therapy practice. The relaunch felt great!
Then Recovery Phase 3 hit, Life is Short: Cults, 24/7, stopped helping. The need for affirmation became rumination. It lingers still, but now I manage it, as opposed to it managing me. A dear friend once told me, “Don’t give them what they haven’t earned.” He’s right, of course. It took me years to rebuild my authentic life. I don't compromise anymore. There's music to play, art to create, books to read, books to write, friends and family, beaches, hikes, travel, etc. I hope every former member gets to phase 3. You get to choose and thrive!
I tell you this, because I still (at times) grapple with my surreal misadventure. I have fleeting moments when I struggle. How could "school's" leadership justify intentional manipulation, cruelty and callousness? We all grapple with betrayal trauma. At times, it's easier to believe I'm at fault, or crazy. Then I think, "F**k that."
When you get that cult misadventures all echo and rhyme, you place blame where it belongs and move into the cult-free life. So, when it comes to consuming cult content, I’m intimately acquainted with the bells and whistles. When choosing, I ask myself: Is this helping? Am I learning something new? Is it providing important information, or deepening what I already know?
Based on that criteria. I have two enthusiastic endorsements.
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